skibigsky's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Of bike racing, and crashes and things. Eh. Fuck the spam. I don't know what has caused the sudden increase, but whatever it is, I'm sick of it. (And no, I haven't heard back from Andrew....) But.... I don't think that our ski racing site is the appropriate place for my personal diary, so I'm ignoring the spam for now, and maybe, with the help from a friend, I'll be able to cut down my aggrevation. In the meantime, I'm giving up bike racing for a while. I'll still be riding, but I'm not going to race. Two incidents have precipatated this; the first is an accident that I had on my TT bike yesterday. I was on the aero bars, wobbled, overcorrected, and went into a rail. I sacrificed myself rather than the bike (although the shop is going to check it out on Monday), and while I think the bike is OK, I have a HUGE hemotoma on my leg quad, and some really spectacular bruises on my right knee and abdomen. Nothing horrific. Painful and ugly, but I'll live. The bigger issue is why this happened. This event was sort of scary because it shouldn't have happened. When I over corrected and realized I was having issues, I should have been able to steer out of it. But I didn't. I panicked (and continued to panic when my arm brace got caught on the aero bars and I couldn't immediately get to the brakes). If there had been a car there, I would have been fucked. And since this is the second incident (the downhill race in Idaho being the other one) where I got scared, panicked, and froze, I've decided to step back a bit, and figure out why I panic and freeze. With all the pro athletes around here, I think I can find a good sports psychologist who can (hopefully!) help me figure out what is going on and work to correct it. Because as it is, I can't pursue high-risk sports if I'm going to continue to freeze. Something bad will happen, eventually. And I can't put the stress on Mr. V. If he's constantly worried that I'm going to freeze up, he can concentrate on his own game. So, I'm going to spend the summer training, working on my skills, and working on my head (because it is ALL mental, ultimately) and be ready to race next season. If my own crash weren't enough, our buddy who crashed in the Crit on Tuesday is Really Fucked Up. He's got a major concussion, and 2 fractured vertebrae. Unfortunately, this guy has no sense, and the hospital (for insurance reasons, I'm sure, as this was the sample place that kicked Mr. V. out when he still had a blood infection last year) wants to release him tomorrow. His wife doesn't think she'll be able to control him, and is afraid that he's going to take off his neck brace too soon, and get back out racing. She (and many of his friends) know that if he does this, he could very well end up causing even more damage to himself, from neck fusion (which Mr. V. and I know all about) to partial/full paralysis. There are a group of us working to help his wife, but it's going to be tough. If it were me, and Mr. V. were like this guy (which, thank the gods he is NOT), I'd work with his family doc and have him commited to a psychiatric institute for a week or some, just to make sure he has supervision. But this guy's wife doesn't have a relationship with her husband's primary care doc, so I don't think it will happen. I'm worried for her, and worried for him, but I'm not sure what we can do, other than give her all the support we can, and possible come over and sit on Rick's chest (which, frankly, would be only slightly less bad than letting him take off his neck collar). Anyway, between my own inability to deal with panic situations, and Rick's clear indication of the What Might Happens of bike racing, we are retiring for the season. Mr. V. could race all season and be fine; when things get out of control, his brain slows things down and he negotiates he was through problems. Me? My brain speeds things up, and I freeze. Not good. So. We'll ride a lot, train a lot, and frankly, by getting the bike racing out of our schedule, we've got a lot more time to take the kids out in the 5th wheel for trips to Yellowstone and other points of interest. And we can still take our bikes and ride. And we've got autocross. Much safer for me (really, even if I 'freeze' it's tough for bad things to happen), and Mr. V. is really excelling. Speaking of which.... Mr. V. is looking to buy a totally tricked out race-only Miata, and he'll give me the Mini. Heh. Now I just have to learn to shift out of 2nd gear, and I'll be golden! *grin. So, it's been a tough week, between some financial issues (a bank error, but I'm not holding my breath as to how long it will take them to rectify things) and the bike issues. I'm hoping we can have a semi-relaxing weekend. I know that we are looking to get out of town for a while with the 5th wheel, but with the holiday coming up, I'm not sure how were are going to arrange this. We'll see. 8:41 p.m. - 22 June 2007 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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